-Meet my new born brother!

-Oh, he is so handsome! What’s his name? - I don’t know. I can’t understand a word he says

 --------------------

 - My name is Justin Brax. Who are you?

 - Well, my name is well-known. You could see me in movies

 - Where do you usually sit there?

 ----------------

- Oh. my dear ,you have no idea how grateful I am for your present!

- Did you really want to have it?

- That’s just what I need to exchange for what I want

 --------------------

- Honey, thanks a lot for dinner

 - Don’t mention it

 - Could you tell me what was on my plate in case I have to describe it to my doctor

 --------------------

-I’m really very sorry to leave. Don’t trouble to see me to the door

 -It’s no trouble. It’s a pleasure!

---------------------------

 -Excuse me mum for breaking dad’s pipe. I’m so sorry about it

-Have you told your daddy yet?

-I have

-What did he say?

 -Shall I leave a rude words?

-Certainly

-He said nothing

 -------------------------------

 -Hey! Tom ! Have you forgotten you owe me 20 dollars?

 -No, not yet. Give me time and I will.

 ------------------------------

 -Why are you jumping down like that?

 -The doctor game me a mixture and I forgot to shake the bottle

 ---------------------------------------

-When I go to Paris,-should I bring you Matisse or Picasso?

-Well ,I think all French cars are just the same

 -----------------------------------------

- -Hello .Is it 122345456?

 -No, sorry. We don’t have phone at all.

 --------------------------------------------

 -The new girl I saw you yesterday was beautiful.

 -Well ,it was an old one painted over

 -----------------------------------------------

 -I can’t understand modern art at all

-I don’t think so. If it hangs on the wall-it’s a picture. If you can walk around, it’s a sculpture.

------------------------------------------------

 "George, darling, what is itabout me you find so attractive?

Is it my personality?"

"No."

"Is it my figure?"

"No."

"Is it my charisma?"

"No."

"I give in."

"That's it!"

-------------------------------------------

 A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. 

They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

----------------

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”

The woman said, "That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock.” The woman replied, "That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.” The woman said, "That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers, continue reading….

…

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife

Moral of the story: Women think they’re so smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.